Getting laid can be a costly exercise. Women these days like to be wined and dined and made a fuss of before they let you get even close to scoring a home run. This doesn’t need to be the case. With economic gloom all around and a shrinking wallet, you can get laid on the cheap. By lowering your standards, checking some morals at the door, and being creative, you can get laid for under $10.
Listropolis’ Take:
I read this twenty minutes ago, and I’m still laughing. I’m sure this post has pissed a few people off, but damn it’s funny, and worth a read. The bottom line is, be a jerk, and lower your expectations.
I was going through some old bookmarks today, and came across Improv Everywhere. I had forgotten who they were, and why I bookmarked them, but seconds later I was watching everyone in Grand Central Station freeze instantaneously, and remembered that I had watched that video nearly twenty times.
I started digging through other posts on the site and realized they’ve done much more than just make time stand still. It inspired me to see what other flash mob videos I could find, and the results were amazing. This Flash Mob thing is really catching on, and I found myself drawn to everyone of them, watching from the first second to the last. Here are the 24 videos you need to see.
We’ve all been stuck in situations that we didn’t know how to handle best. Hell, they even made a Twix commercial about it.
Here are 8 situations (guys only) with answers whether you should “Shut Up,” or “Squeal.”
1. A friend is really bad at his job, and it’s obvious he’ll be fired. Man Code: SQUEAL. A good friend would tell him, “Dude, I’m hearing things. You’d better talk to the boss.” An okay guy deserves a heads-up.
There are two kinds of people in this world. Some people will look at a construction crane and think “Oh, look, it’s a construction crane.” Others will look at that same crane and think, “Oh, hey, I’ve gotta go have sex on that construction crane, right this second.” This article’s about that second group.
An amateur built the ark and a team of engineers built the Titanic.That basically sums up why I don’t trust Microsoft products.
Failure is not an option — it comes bundled with Windows.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
Flash is a program built for and by retarded cats
“I invented it, Bill made it famous.” David Bradley (wrote the code for Ctrl-Alt-Delete on the IBM PC)
“Coding styles are like assholes, everyone has one and no one likes anyone elses.” Eric Warmenhoven
“Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it.” Brian W. Kernighan
“Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing.” Dick Brandon
“Memory is like an orgasm. It’s a lot better if you don’t have to fake it.” Seymore Cray (on virtual memory)
“Software Engineering is that part of Computer Science which is too difficult for the Computer Scientist.” F. L. Bauer
“The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That’s where we come in; we’re computer professionals. We cause accidents.” Nathaniel Borenstein
“The ultimate metric that I would like to propose for user friendliness is quite simple: if this system was a person, how long would it take before you punched it in the nose?” Tom Carey
“Writing in C or C++ is like running a chain saw with all the safety guards removed.” Bob Gray
Seinfeld as you guys probably know by now, was/is my favorite show on television. And in addition to the many quirks and observations the show has been responsible for, I also think that it’s responsible for being the catalyst to many acting careers.
Some of these actually surprised me, but there are 12 actors that stand out whose careers really seemed to blossom after appearing on the show. For the record, before we even start, I’m knocking off Brad Garrett, Teri Hatcher, Kristen Davis, and Marcia Cross. Garrett was big in the 80’s with stand up. Hatcher had already been in Tango and Cash, and Davis and Cross were already on Melrose place.
These actors? You’d be hard pressed to know who they were before making their presence known on Seinfeld
Yep, you read that correctly - it says Engrish. Engrish has been around the net for many years, and is simply various Japanese translations on products and signs. This post was inspired by the launch of Engrish Funny - the same people who brought you icanhascheezburger. This post uses a few photos from Engrish Funny, and others from the daddy of Engrish, engrish.com, and is a collection of the dirtiest, sexiest, nastiest, and just plain most offensive pictures I could find. Be warned, some of the photos contain offensive language.
The Clean: NFL running back Ricky Willaims was arrested Feb. 21, 2000, for failing to sign a minor traffic ticket. Williams, driving his 1999 Hummer swerved the $80,000 truck from the far right lane to the far left lane without signaling, disrupting traffic on a three-lane street in Austin, Texas.
The Dirty: His mugshot revealed that he was stoned as $hit, which addresses three things: why he wouldn’t sign the ticket, why there was a bucket of all dark meat KFC chicken wings in his lap (why he was swerving), and why he decided to “quit” the NFL temporarily… Brotha gotta get high.
In Hollywood, anything can blow up. Thanks to this rule, we’ve all had to experience our fair share of explosions that, well, strain credibility a little. And then there are the ones that are just completely retarded.
