I really don’t have to explain what a Facebook staus update is, do I? Didn’t think so. One of my Facebook friends’ status today read, “Dropping the kids off at the pool.” If you’ve read this blog for any length of time, you probably know where my mind went, but it made me wonder if there was a place to find funny status updates that people could “borrow,” and it turns out, there is. The status updates in this post are all from a site called The Collection of Funny Facebook Status Updates. What follows are what I consider the 20 best status updates from that site…and they welcome you to use them.
- ….can see Alaska from her house.
- ….understands that hard work has a future payoff but Laziness pays off now.
- ….just wants less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.
- ….says keep staring….I may do a trick.
- ….knows your jealous because the voices are talking to him and not you.
- ….is being spontaneous… tomorrow.
- ….Says touch your head. Touch your nose. NAME didn’t say touch your nose.
- ….was reviewing your profile but couldn’t turn the suck down!
- ….wouldn’t be caught dead with a necrophiliac.
- ….the guy who stole the frigg’n cookie from the cookie jar. Now shutup!
- ….secretly hoping the video he and Paris made last night is released on TMZ
- ….writing a paper called “Sex and Pregnancy: A Possible Connection”
- ….being interviewed on his new novel “Sweet and Sour Pork: How Can It Be Both? At The Same Time?”
- ….brought to you by the letters W T F
- ….with your girlfriend.
- ….trapped in the facebook status message textbox; send help!
- ….not your friend.
- ….not for everyone. Clinical tests show that he may cause nausea, fatigue, and kidney or liver problems. Ask your doctor if he is right for you
- ….known for his motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I’m around!
- ….master of his domain
If you liked these, and want to see more, make sure you visit The Collection of Funny Facebook Status Updates. This isn’t a paid post, just something I thought you all might enjoy.
If you don’t find what you’re looking for there, you can also try Generatus. It generates random status updates based on your gender, and you can use tags for better results. If you’ve seen a great status update, list it in the comments.
